Amundsen Missing

Today I embarked upon my third, and least successful, expedishun to the North Pole.   Phoebles came along too, 'cos he had nothing better to do and I needed someone to haul the sledge.   We packed a carefully calculated quantity of coleyfish sandwiches, galoshes, four pairs, and knitted bobble-hats, two.   Phoebles had wanted to borrow me Dad's budionovka, but it was much too big for him and he could not see from under it.
Barely had we begun to experience the first pangs of homesickness, somewhere NbyW of the Tree-House, than we received news of the Italia airship disaster and the loss of the famous arctic explorer Amundsen during an ill-fated rescue bid across the frozen wastes.   I believe this all took place some time ago, but no-one told me.
By the time me Mam got back from her vegetable cultivating on the allotment we had scuttled home, unpacked, consumed the sandwiches and were curled up feigning sleep.

Devil's Henchman Spotted in Staffordshire Graveyard

It is reported that terrified revellers encountered a large black cat in Tutbury churchyard.
Parish Councillors fear that it may be Bulgakov's pyromanic BEHEMOTH and residents have been warned to look out for the cat's companions, a gentleman magician, an ex-choirmaster, a wall eyed and fanged assassin, a pale faced angel of death, and a redheaded witch.
With luck the apparition will turn out to have been no more than a feral black panther.

Birova Rant

SHAKE IN YOUR SHOES BUREAUCRATS.   THE INTERNATIONAL POWER OF THE WORKERS' COUNCILS WILL SOON WIPE YOU OUT.    HUMANITY WILL NOT BE HAPPY UNTIL THE LAST BUREAU- CRAT IS HUNG WITH THE GUTS OF THE LAST CAPITALIST.   LONG LIVE THE STRUGGLE OF THE KRONSTADT SAILORS AND OF THE MAKHNOVSCHINA AGAINST TROTSKY AND LENIN.   LONG LIVE THE 1956 COUNCILIST INSURRECTION OF BUDAPEST.   DOWN WITH THE STATE.

Fire in the Land of Green Ginger

Last week, the fire brigade was called to a conflagration in a catnip factory.

Deep into the labyrinth of narrow, winding alleyways, amidst the dockland warehouses in the Land of Green Ginger brass helmeted heroes Battled the blaze.

Overcome by the fumes, eight firemen, convinced that they were elite firefighting hamsters were taken to a nearby café and administered strong mugs of very sweet tea.