Are Clangers Edible?

Phoebus had brought it in through the cat-flap and then lost it.   More often than not the ones that got away were field mice, but this one was sort of silvery and a bit slippery.   It may have gone under the dresser.   Phoebus clawed about for a bit, rediscovered a long lost toy and then went into the kitchen for a snack.

They had run into real trouble as they approached Jupiter.   1Fnyrdh of the Kwmbry, as the first spawned offspring in her pod, had been expected to take up an apprenticeship under her biological parent, but instead had run away to space.   Just short of three standard years later, stressed yet highly motivated by the multiple alarms sounding around her, she occupied the post of Leading Spaceperson on the Sunburst Supernova a Galaxy Class VLBC cargo transporter, the size of a small city and with a carrying capacity of just over a billion Short (Qrwm) Tonnes.   Not that size had proved an advantage just at that moment.   A massive solar storm had taken out anything with a processor in it and fried Kilometres of micro-wiring.   Quantum Uncertainty Computers can be finicky at the best of times, their awesome power deriving from the myriad multiple states possible compared to the on-or-off, 1s or 0s of binary computer systems.   But they would not work if they were being watched, and the pulse of solar radiation had definitely given the impression of something that  was watching, and probing, and fiddling about.   Whilst the small crew had been absorbed with restoring control the mega-vessel had ventured too far into the gravitational field of the gas giant.   Swift action had avoided capture, but a sling shot effect had accelerated them towards the centre of the planetary system.   Then they had collided with the asteroid.  

Sunburst Supernova’s spine snapped instantly and she began slowly to fold.   There was a moment of silence and calm and then, with a succession of shudders and groans the great craft broke up spewing grit clouds of ore out into space.   The entire officer class had been wiped out when the navigation deck was destroyed, much of the accommodation had experienced explosive depressurisation.   1Fnyrdh had assisted her surviving companions into a life-craft and watched it depart.   Then she attended to her own survival.   Mind numbingly loud klaxon alarms and strobing red companion-way lights kept her mindful of the impending danger, but were in no way helping.   She located what was probably the last undamaged life-craft, battled into one of its personal environment suits, rushed through the standard checks, blew the bolts and blasted away from the doomed carrier.   Onboard automated systems with some restored functionality turned both life-craft towards a distant blue planet.

As the two craft approached the blue planet 1Fnyrdh could make out an atmosphere and clouds.   The navigation computers on both craft calculated the correct safe entry angle and velocity and the first life–craft made precise adjustments to its attitude.   Her companions’ small vessel was some ten minutes ahead.   It entered the outer layers of the planet’s atmosphere, glowed briefly and exploded.   1Fnyrdh urgently flicked the life-craft systems to manual, the computer resisted, 1Fnyrdh insisted.   Everyone in the crew had undergone extensive simulated disaster training, she had narrowly failed hers and been scheduled for reassessment.   Never the less she made tiny adjustments to her craft’s trajectory, too much and she would bounce off the atmosphere into the chill darkness, offered a fervent prayer to her Pod Deity despite having ignored it since childhood, recalculated and made a few more adjustments, and then gave up; she was only guessing anyway.

After a fiery and nerve racking descent she did not so much land as crash.   The life-craft bounced once and skidded, scoring a linear, dirty brown scar across a plain of tall, broad-leaved grassland.   It pitched over a low, bare hillock and came to rest amidst the roots and trunks of a cramped cluster of flowering trees.   1Fnyrdh pulled the release catch on the outer hatch.   There was a hiss, but it did not move.   Two stout kicks and the hatch cover flew away, 1Fnyrdh leapt down and was standing on the surface of an alien world.   She had walked some distance along the track gouged out by her careering life-craft when something unseen cuffed her off her feet and into the long grass.   As she lay, dazed, immense ivory sabre teeth pierced the collar of her environment suit and crushed the survival pack on her back.   She was lifted, dangling into the air and the gigantic monster that had her in its grip set off at a dash.   1Fnyrdh passed out.

She came round as she was dropped onto the cushioned floor of a vast chamber.   From the compromised state of her shredded environment suit she deduced that the alien atmosphere must be breathable.   It smelled acrid and she felt slightly light headed but her breathing was steady and nothing ached any more than she would expect after her recent rough treatment.   She rolled onto her back and looked up.   The creature standing over her was terrifying.   Superficially the beast resembled the Clrntz*n back home, only built on a totally different scale.   It was six times her height, maybe more, a hundred times her bulk, with golden eyes and a covering of fur striped in shades of sandy orange.   Its belly fur was white and it was displaying a lethal armoury of claws and teeth.   1Fnyrdh leapt up and ran.   She was fast in this strange atmosphere, but so was the beast.   As she zigzagged to avoid the slashing claws she neared a long, low cave.   She threw herself at it and rolled beneath the overhang, scrabbling quickly to the back.   An extended paw searched the cavern, but she managed to evade it and eventually her antagonist lost interest and withdrew.  

There was no way of telling if the automated distress signaller back on the Sunburst had got off a message before the ship broke up or if the one on the life-craft had been working at all - and, either way, little likelihood that a signal would be intercepted in the near future.    As spots went, this was a tight one.   Cautiously 1Fnyrdh surveyed the environment beyond her refuge.   The chamber covered an area greater than a snychb!ll pitch and was twice the height of a gy6 tower; these creatures may be aggressive, but they must have advanced technology and presumably a developed culture.   What had they been told in the lecture on first contact?   She unlocked the helmet from the collar of her environment suit and laid it to one side, then took a universal translator from the hip pouch of her suit, clipped it round her throat and switched it on.   Pulling out the receiver she plugged it into one ear, it crackled and emitted a high-pitched whistle.   She unstrapped it, banged it hard against the back wall of the shelter and tried again.   When she spoke into it, it seemed to be translating into something.   The creature had returned and was lying some distance from the cave mouth with one eye closed.   1Fnyrdh reflected on the state of her suit and removed it; she had better look as smart as possible for the occasion.   Then she moved warily into the open, ready to take cover again at the slightest movement on the part of the orange alien.   She drew a deep breath and shouted.